"Pencil Dick"

...So, there we were rolling around the sheets, enjoying each other tremendously as we had done so many times before... He's an exquisite lover, incredibly selfless and very much in tune to what makes a woman purr.  His hands are large and rough from hard physical work, work that keeps his trim body taught and defined; however,  his touch is oh so soft and despite his strength his arms hold gentle...His 6 foot frame glides across my body with sublime grace.   He loves pleasuring a woman, and he is fabulous...

Imagine my surprise when he stopped what he was doing and turned his attention to the nightstand, where he then opened the drawer and presented a weird rubbery penis cover type thingie.
Now, I have absolutely no aversion to toys in the bedroom, but this thing was meant to go OVER his already perfect manhood to add umm, bulk.  It had these raised bumps all over it, supposedly for my er, pleasure...  He begins to cover his superb cock with this ridiculous contraption and I'm just sitting there like WTF, and thinking 'why on earth is he doing this?  Why would he rob me of his slippery warmth and substitute it with this cool, rubbery, bumpy ass mess?'...
...I was about to learn a VERY valuable lesson.

I said "Honey, what the hell are you doing?" He said "Remember when we had that fight last week and you called me 'pencil dick?'...Well, I bought this so that my dick would be fatter for you."  OMG, I did it this time.  I said "No, no, no! Come on! You KNOW I love your body just the way it is.  I told you I didn't mean that at all, and I was just mad.  I said something stupid, because I know that nothing is going to get to you like attacking you in your Mr., and that's all there is to that.  You hurt my feelings and I wanted to hurt yours back.  I'm so sorry, I didn't realize it bothered you this much.  I feel terrible." He continued to fumble with that stupid thing; I began kissing him lightly about his  neck and softly said  '"You know honey, we can make use of this, however, it most definitely does not belong covering you.  Hows about you put that on your finger and make other use of it."  He smiled and said "Yeh, I think that would be better."  Much.

You know, my stupid utterance, in a split second caused so many hurt feelings.  I don't even remember what it was that he had said to me that had me so upset that I went there with him.  I did however  manage to hurt his self esteem, make him question his sexual performance, give him very real feelings of inadequacy and worst of all made a chip in his overall trust in me.  Trust that I would never deliberately hurt him.  Trust in the fact that I was his 'safe' place; where, up until that point,  he could always be himself without ridicule.
My hit 'below the belt' was a most heinous act on my part, an act that no "I'm Sorry" could ever make better. 
You know those things we say when we are mad that we don't mean?  The things we say to hurt the other person because they hurt us and we want to hurt them just as bad, and ~ if possible worse?  Well,  if you are successful in doing so,  please remember and never forget that split second of satisfaction felt while shooting those venomous words can end up slowly poisoning your relationship, and try as you may to find an antidote ~ there isn't one.

Relation~Shipwrecks; "The Hide and go Pussy"

We all find ourselves single from time to time, some more then others ~ some less then others. Some of us by choice, some of us ~ not so much...

How we handle this, or in some cases I should say 'DON'T handle this' is open for discussion.  So, let us discuss.

This is such a vast topic, and only one of many that we are going to explore.
Well, we've got to start somewhere... and me thinks here is as good a place as any and a better place then most.
...With that being said, let's begin our journey down Sex and the Crossroads.
 

A very common relation~shipwreck is what I call 'The Hide and go Pussy'. This is something I see a lot and really can no longer be ignored.  It is a great example of someone who is NOT embracing singledom, and so NOT handling their business. 

For your consideration:

 I was talking to my friend Frankie the other day ~ he is in a relation~shipwreck with this person (for lack of a better word) whom I couldn't imagine sitting with for 5 minutes, let alone dating off and on for a few years as he has, and I believe still currently is. Oh, he tries to deny it, then trips himself up and gets mad. "It's none of your business anyway!" he spits out like a 5 year old.  Indeedy, spoken like a true Puss. 

...Anywho, to give you a better understanding of why this is a relation~shipwreck, let me tell you a bit about his girlfriend, whom I affectionately refer to as 'Lassie'. I gave her this clever little nickname 'cause her name is Celeste, SHE nicknamed herself ''Lessie".  I find this choice questionable on her part, considering Lessie isn't a very attractive person and its so like 'right there' to change that one little vowel (e to an a) thus getting the name of a dog.  'Lassie.'

Now, it's not  her obvious stupidity, nor her fascination with all things "Hello Kitty" at 30+ yrs old, and its not about her lack of physical beauty that makes her a sad choice for a mate. (though these things don't help)  Her personality is underwhelming. Her thought process is unable to follow, her self esteem is off the charts low, her cling factor is off the charts high, her pride is 0, and her voice is like nails on a chalkboard.  She is the type of person that if one were sitting at a bar having a drink and she tried to start up a conversation, I'm guessing like 95% of people would excuse themselves after 2 minutes and play pool. Alone.

  She actually says shit like 'I used to just like the color blue, but now I like all the colors!'  Really? Fascinating...  She has no problem letting the whole world know she is basically a meat suit controlled by her boyfriend, with absolutely no individuality to speak of, and has no qualms stating such over and over again on her web pages. She regurgitates sadness like: "I only like whatever my boyfriend likes and I only do whatever my boyfriend does or tells me to do".
 Now, speaking of webpages, let me share that my friend Frankie, aka Lassies 'boyfriend' has a photobucket account where he keeps pictures of people and things that he digs (yes, and your welcome for the explanation of photobucket...lol) ...noteworthy is that on his 4-5 pages of pics, cartoons, etc...There isn't 1 pic of Lassie. He has mostly random shit in there, however he does have a few photos of himself, his brother and making the grade; a photo of  his EX-girlfriend.  Yes, he has a photo of his ex-girlfriend in his photobucket, yet he doesn't have even 1 picture of, or group shot containing, his current g/f aka Lassie.  Lassie,  with whom he has been dating, as I mentioned, for several years.  When Lassie is asked about this type of behavior by Frankie, (and this is NOT an exception, it is the rule, when it comes to Frankies actions) Lassie will respond with some pathetic shit along the lines of 'I think its nice that he has a picture of his ex girlfriend up, it shows that he has a heart and is capable of committing to someone'  Uh  Ohs, and Um Yeh... ~  I would find that disturbing at best and grounds for his immediate dismissal. What is this person thinking?  What kind of nice?  How is that 'nice'?  The only way something like that is ever acceptable is if  the ex had passed away, then and only then would I be ok with it, and that's  providing there  BEST be a pic of my shining face in that bucket too, or right back to immediate dismissal.
Now, be advised that Frankie is still in love with his ex g/f, I know, I know ~ quite obvious from the photobucket story.  However, one doesn't have to speculate, he openly admits it.  He openly admits it  to Lassie.  Yes, he tells her that he still loves his ex and always will.  
 Lassie on Frankie still being in love with his ex:  ...and she sunk to a new personal low when she penned out this mess that she posted under a picture of Frank and herself:  'she may hold your heart, but I hold your body' ...Oh Lassie...  She defines what never to be.
 
What we have here is a wonderful example of a relation~shipwreck; classification 'The Hide and go Pussy'. 
There is Frank whom, when I question him "Why and how on earth he can stand her? She is painful!" he simply  says "What am I supposed to do?  Go to a bar or a club and go up to a girl and say "Hi, how are you doing?" I said "You can start there..."
 His feelings on that;  'Uuggghhhh, hell no!  I don't want to do that.  I don't want to start this shit ALL OVER AGAIN.  Who can be bothered? It's such a pain in the ass. This is just easier.  I can't be bothered with all of it, getting to know a new person, and that is if you get that far...
...First there is going out on endless dates and spending all kinds of money, just to face rejection or disappointment.  Awkward conversations when you arn't feeling them and have to end it, even more awkward still, when they end it with you... and on and on and on...'   He knows what he is getting with Lassie, no surprises ~ no broken heart.  She runs when he calls and takes all his shit.  Easy.
I can't say that he is totally wrong, he has points.  The problem here is, he didnt stay single long enough to develop a good relationship with himself. He has no single self left, if he had, he could never settle for this utter mediocrity.  Single Frank doesn't exist anymore, and therefore can't protest the 'easy'. He can't fight for the 'butterflies' when his hand accidently brushes hers, he can't fight for great conversations that turn seconds into hours.  Lovemaking that actually leaves your hair dripping with sweat and you both giddy with exhaustion.  You don't get this with 'Easy'.  Never with easy.  This would be why Frankie (I mean ALL the Frankies out there) without making change within themselves,  are doomed to a life of Lassies, God Forbid.
 
I marvel at how he can look at her unattractive face, as she rambles on about 'Hello Kitty' and 'all the colors she now embraces' while agreeing with him about everything, including him loving his ex... and basically bringing nothing to the table except for some places for him to stick his dick.

Hide and go pussy.  The art of hiding away in a 'safe' relationship.  A relationship that can never grow and blossom, one where the heart is kept safe because when it comes right down to it, the only thing we would lose if the 'Lassie' in the relationship left ~ is time.  Oh, so precious time, time that could have been spent growing, laughing, learning...Time spent exploring people, places and things.  Time spent working on our relationships with ourselves, instead of avoiding that whole remarkable part of us and opting to be in a relation~shipwreck with a 'Lassie' for the sole reason of avoiding ourselves and being alone.
 Doesn't sound so good when its broken down like that, does it?  There is a reason for that, it isn't.