The reason I chose to head this blog "Sex and the Crossroads", is simply because we all find ourselves at continuous crossroads, of one form or another. Crossroads are everywhere. We find them in our love lives, our jobs, relationships with friends/family, and in our relationships with ourselves..
The list goes on and on, as we are always growing and evolving..
I had put up a post earlier today, expressing how interactive I want OUR 'Crossroads' to be.
Please, do not get me wrong my Lovlies, I will always post random entries regarding things on my mind, things that I want to share with you.. I also, very much want ya'll to share what is on your mind, and things that you want to bring center stage.
Now, with that being said... Let us delve!
Relationships are work.
No relationship is perfect, and there is always going to be a certain amount of bullshit that we need to deal with. Let's be honest, we aren't always runnin' naked thru the tulips, makin' love and relishing in the wonder that is our mate!
The thing is, when is the bullshit too much? When does it become a chore, and the stench of crap is beginning to overpower the scent of tulips?
Unfortunately, most of the time we aren't aware of just how much shit our mate has backing up the bowl, until it runs over and spills out all over OUR floor.. When, I say this ~ I mean, we are already emotionally vested, and just 'walking away' isn't an option for us. We feel the need to clean up the shit, polish the floor, and FIX that tank! We tend to forget that some tanks are defective, and though we can replace some parts, and it works for awhile, it is going to break down again.. We will be cleaning more shit in the future. How much shit do you want to clean? How elbow deep in it are you willing to get?
Whenever our mate has a serious problem with anything that requires a 12 step program, realize that this is NOT going to be easy. I am not saying you should just abandon ship, I am saying you need to realize in no uncertain terms, just exactly what you are up against. You need to research, fact find, TALK to your mate, and then make an educated decision based on the data you collected. You have to keep the decision process of where this relationship is going, and exactly how YOU fit in, in your head, and not your heart.
Gambling Addiction is a bitch. It is one of the trickier addictions, because that 'big pay out!' is always looming right there...or so the addict thinks. The money spent on 'hittin' the big one' could, at the very least..pay the rent! However, the worse it gets..the WORSE it gets. Bills, don't get paid and debt piles, bodily injury becomes a real fear. Now, the addict finds themselves trying to win, just to cover loss, and everything else isn't even so much of a thought.
You know your man has a major problem with gambling, do not embark on a life together, until he takes care of his addiction.
First and foremost, does he KNOW he has a problem? No way anything is going to change, until the addict knows something has to. You need to talk to your mate, about the good, the bad and the ugly. You have to address things that potentially effect YOU. You aren't being selfish, you aren't being unfeeling, you are being smart. You must know your position, before you can decide whether or not you should even bother walking down this difficult road. In the meantime, do not do any 'joint' ventures, do not move in together, and throw out the rose colored glasses of what 'could be' and focus on 'what is'... Should your mate relinquish this addiction, and stay on the correct path..that will be your eventual 'what is'...and from there you can start to imagine what 'could be'..
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