"Gold Dust Woman"

Listen, people... I'm trying over here. Its been a long damn day... Hell, its been a long damn life. I used to be intelligent... I'm not so much anymore.

A bitch is tired..

I have been doing everything to make this house work... I'm waiting for Tommy, I need some help. You know Tommy, "A Shit in the Hand". Ya, that's him... That's Tommy.

What's the point of this? I don't know. I'm all out of those..

You waited. This is what I posted... Great.

"Rock on, Gold Dust Woman ...

Follow those who pale in your shadow.

Rulers make bad lovers ...

You better put your kingdom up for sale."

"The Pressure Point"

My Lovlies.. Goin' down these here Crossroads..

Let us delve.. gonna be a quick one..just my thoughts tonite, and sharing with ya'll.

My guy is over. He blew his knee out.

He can't rest.  Not even on my fly azz!!!  lolzz...

What is a lady to do?  She MUST find relief for her man. When you loosen up your mans buttons, you gotta bring it..in EVERY area!!  That's how I roll.  With this said,  I have spent the last 3 hours, with my thumb on the 'pressure point' of his knee, so he could sleep.  He is now resting comfortably in the other room.

I ask you, what AREN'T we willing to do, to make the loves of our lives rest in comfort?  More important..What would they be willing to do, to make sure WE rest in the same comfort? Do we know the difference??

"A Shit in the Hand is Better than Two in the Bush"

Get ready.. This is about to get heavy, I just settled all my lawsuits.. Fuck You Debbie!!

Ok, as we go down our Crossroads, we sometimes find ourselves in 'shitty' situations.  Figurative and literal.

That's what this is about.  Let us delve.

To start, I want to pick up on my last post regarding the 'honesty policy'.  I was right, I think.  There are just some things better left unsaid.  

Recently, my guy was over.  He was in the other room.  I thought, (thought being the operative word) that it would be cute, to put some stock in being a 'nosy bitch'.  So, as we trust each other, (so much) lolzz.. He left his phone in the living room..with me.  Ummmm.. I looked at the phone, I looked away, I looked at the phone, I looked away.. and I picked up the phone.  I started going thru his txt messages.. I found what I wasn't looking for.  He HAD been seeing someone else.  There was a crossover, in the crossroads.

Now, understand we had split up.  Ross and Rachel bullshit, at its finest, coming up!

He started seeing someone else.  We got back together.  He, now had to get out of that, and cum back home.  He did that.  He stopped seeing her, he didn't want to be an 'azzhole'.. so he didn't totally cut off communication.. He was dwindling it down.  He hadn't been to her place for weeks, they didn't speak on the phone.  He had brought it to a txt message every few days.. and that's what I found.

I popped off.. (I didn't know the whole story, at the time..I should have just asked..CAUTION: RELATIONSHIPS ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR)  He woke up to me, on the phone with her.. He was just like "What?".. and out the door.

He was NOT having any of that.

SIDEBAR:

Now, understand how close me and my guy are.  This is where the 'shit' cums in..  We were fooling around.. Gettin down with the get down, as we ALWAYS do.  Lawd!  He is the BEST.  In the midst of my cumming 90 times, we do some crazy 'shit'.  Ladies, as we know.. sometimes a little finger in the azz is enjoyable during sex.. if done properly.  He does it properly.  

You see where this is going?

I actually shit on his hand.. (In my defense, it was not alot..like I have a defense..lmao!)

 I was like ?? He said "Umm..".. he got up and washed his hand.  He then went into the kitchen, and got a couple wet paper towels and came back into the bedroom.  He said "I think you might want to clean that situation up."  I was just like "OMG".. We never laughed so hard in our lives.

We laughed for hours.  He was like "It's a shitty situation!" God, how we laughed..

So.. you see, how very close me and my guy are.  Don't judge us!!  LMAO!!

Back to the story..The OTHER story.

We didn't really talk that much for a couple of days.  He was not wanting to hear me yell and question him, I really just wanted to talk to him.  I had calmed down, at this point.  I had spoken to the other woman for hours.. She was actually very nice, so was I.  I was starting to put the pieces together.  She knew who I was, he spoke of me.  The love of his life.  She knew about us.  She knew when he left, he was never coming back.  I just wanted it to have never happened at that point.  I told him, "I'm not angry, I don't care.. I just want to forget it.  I don't want to talk about it.  Let's just move on."  We did talk about it.  He didn't want there to be any 'question marks' in my head.  The only question in my head, was really 'Why did I do this?'

He said "If you had a question, if you thought something, you should have just asked me."

He was right.

I ended up hurting this girl, who never needed to know her suspicions were confirmed.

He was out of that, and back home.  I didn't need to know she ever existed.  Seriously.  I didn't need to know.  Yes, there was a 'crossover' where we were both in his world, while he was back with me, and getting out of that.  That does suck.  I do know and understand the whole situation, and we are very OK.  It actually brought us closer together in a weird way.

The moral to this story is.. If you can shit on your mates hand, you can TALK to him/her.  Maybe honesty IS the best policy?

"You Sent For Me??"

It's Just me, I'm just obscene.

Halsey needs to pick up on his post..

There was no him in that..

When talking to lovers, there IS shit you don't say.

Like ur number...don't..

Noone needs to know that.

Did you cheat?   ever?  Don't tell that...

Just say less.

I  know honesty is the best policy...Not always.
It is soooo not....

"For Crying Out Loud..'Loaf' Style!!!"

My Lovlies!!

Did ya'll ever hear the song "For Crying Out Loud"  Meatloaf..  I kno.. he is gross...however.. ( I never say but..'cause everything after but is bullshit..)

OK.. This song.. Just is..Great. 

"I was lost and you were found.. and I never knew how far down, I was falling before I reached the bottom.. I was cold and you were fire.. and I never knew how the fire could be burning on the edge of the icefield..

...

Oh, I know that you belong inside my aching heart...and can't you see my faded Levis burstin' apart?  & don't you hear me crying 'Oh, babe, don't go.. & don't you hear me screamin' "how was I to know??"...   I'm in the middle of nowhere, near the end of the line.. There's a border to somewhere waiting, and there's a tank full of time.. Oh, give me just another moment to see the light of the day.. & take me to another land where I don't have to stay.. & I'm gonna need somebody to make me feel like you do.. and I will receive somebody with open arms.. open eyes.. open up the sky, let the plymouth of our love shine thru.. For crying out loud, you know I love you.."

Damn.. Loaf!!

Bringing it..

I would keep postin the song, however.. ya get the jist.. Actually, it get's alot better.. ya gotta listen!

This song is like Amazing sex.. it speeds up when nessa, and is slow when needed!!  LAWD!!

This song is for Tom.

I don't change names to protect the innocent..

I don't really have a major point to this post.. Just on my mind.

It's just for those of us in love and ?? 

The questions, Right??

Oh, the questions..

"Fcken A!, You Should See the Face I'm Making NOW!!!"

Ok, here we are again..

I had to revise my "interactive" post.. 'Cause, well.. my original post kinda sucked.. So, I went there with it..

That's what I am about, "going there", as it would be.. sooo..I did. 

Redemption?

Let's talk about ex's and sex'ssssss... :O

That's a wide open mouth!! LOL!!

I can't with myself sometimes..

I know ya'll are gonna relate here.. we ALL have ex's..

You should see the face I am making.

Ok, let's get it on.. My Lovlies!

I feel like I am doing a "Golden Girls" thing here.. if any of you all ever watched that show..

"Picture this..2006, Wallington, NJ"

I am coming home, my boyfriend of 6 yrs is in the parking lot.  I see him, I am NOT in the mood... LONG day at work.  I say "Not tonite, please.. I am soo tired, can we do this tomorrow?"

We were kinda having problems.. you will find out later.. Not really needed right now.  It's a need to know basis.. I will explain.. Later..

Little did I know..there was no tomorrow.

See, my ex is a MAJOR mamma's boy.. Like, he brings sucking off the teet to a whole new level.

Mommy and Daddy decided to move to Nevada.

So, of course.. he went with.  God forbid he lived on his own.

Now, let  us not judge SOOO fast (there are those OOO's again..LOL)

His brother and sister.. equally as lame, went as well.

 The WHOLE fam went.

'Cept, I didn't know.

See, I knew the parents were going.. he never said HE was going.. He said he was not. 

This was an issue in the last year of our relationship, I KNEW he would go, I just knew it.  Right again.

Don't you love my life?  Feeling better about yourself right about now, eh?

Ok, back to it.  I called him the next day, and the day after that.. Voicemail.

When your phone don't ring, you will know it's me.

I was getting it.  NOT him at all.

Always here.  Always with me.

He eventually answered.  Said he was helping his parents to move and would be home in a week.

I'm still waiting.

You know what sucks?  I NEVER got to say "Goodbye."

If I had known, that last time in the parking lot, would be the last time ever.. last time ever, I would see him..

I would of held him so tight..  I would of made love to him all night.

No.

So, he haunts me.

We did not split because we were no longer in love... Yes, we were hitting "rocky" patches.. Yes, we were..

Lawddd, we were!

However, to just go like that?

You should see the face I am making now!!

What a hit.

We still talk.. alot.

He is my best friend and my worst enemy.

My current boyfriend came over last nite.. (whole other post!!)

I called him my ex's name..  NO!!! not during sex!!  Get your minds out the gutter!!  LOLZZZ~

I wish.. worse.. we were talking, it was kinda a heated discussion.. and I called him his name.
Probably, because when I get annoyed I am usually talking to him.. My ex, that is.

Needless to say, my boyfriend did NOT call today. Now, understand.. I dig my boyfriend.  I really do.  He is ALOT like me.  Which is good..and bad.
 He's pissed..and he should be.. A bitch know when she fcks up.. I fcked up.. I gotta deal with that.  I wouldn't call me either.  So, not like I can complain.

You should see the face I am making NOW!!!

What a trainwreck.. that hit a plane crash.. and went over a cliff..

When your Ex is in your life, ...can you REALLY move on??

3,000 miles just aint enough..

I need more miles!!

Fck You, Debbie!!!

"I Got a Fcken Story for That!"

Lawd!! My Lovlies...

I can't..

I am reading my sister and brother pages..and..they are bringing it!  Just WOW with them.  I gotta give props..

Now, with that said.. let us..as always..delve and get it on!

This is gonna be long.. just so ya'll know.. I got alot to say.  If you aint got the time... don't ride this ride!!

Let us start here.

My last post, was a bit flat.  Yes, I said what was up.. I gave no "me" though. 

I got a fcken story for that..

My sons father, he had a problem with gambling.  I didn't really know the exent.  I didn't even really know what was going on.  I found out.

I came home from work one day.  I walked across the street, to the door of our home.. There was a man outside..on a celly.. I heard him say "It is 6:00pm and she just got home".. (he also mentioned my son was in the house)

I was like??  It did not take long for me to get it.. this was ABOUT ME.. This was about my SON!

I walked up the stairs, my mind was racing... wtf did Jim do??  (names are NOT changed for the guilty) ..

I opened the door and I asked him.. "Why is there a man on a celly, reporting when I am coming home and that our son is in the house?"  I could see it.. right then.

He was fucked.

He said he was going to get ciggies..  I was just like, you BEST take care of this! Ciggies my ass!!  Take care of this.

He was gone about an hour.

Long time to get smokes..eh??  Ya.

Long story short..don't want to bore ya!!

Jim ended up embezzling 74,000 from his job..to cover his debts.  To save our lives.

He did federal time.

Our relationship..OVER.

So, the moral to this story is..simply..DON'T take it to the next level if you KNOW someone has a problem with gambling..  Don't.  Ya, see... they don't come after the debtor. They want he/she to pay.. they come after you and me..

Do you want to be you and me?

"The Smells of Love..Shit vs Tulips"

The reason I chose to head this blog "Sex and the Crossroads", is simply because we all find ourselves at continuous crossroads, of one form or another.  Crossroads are everywhere.  We find them in our love lives, our jobs, relationships with friends/family, and in our relationships with ourselves..

The list goes on and on, as we are always growing and evolving..    

I had put up a post earlier today, expressing how interactive I want OUR 'Crossroads' to be.

Please, do not get me wrong my Lovlies, I will always post random entries regarding things on my mind, things that I want to share with you.. I also, very much want ya'll to share what is on your mind, and things that you want to bring center stage.

Now, with that being said... Let us delve!

Relationships are work.

 No relationship is perfect, and there is always going to be a certain amount of bullshit that we need to deal with.  Let's be honest, we aren't always runnin' naked thru the tulips, makin' love and relishing in the wonder that is our mate!

 The thing is, when is the bullshit too much?  When does it become a chore, and the stench of crap is beginning to overpower the scent of tulips?

Unfortunately, most of the time we aren't aware of just how much shit our mate has backing up the bowl, until it runs over and spills out all over OUR floor.. When, I say this ~ I mean, we are already emotionally vested, and just 'walking away' isn't an option for us.  We feel the need to clean up the shit, polish the floor, and FIX that tank!  We tend to forget that some tanks are defective, and though we can replace some parts, and it works for awhile, it is going to break down again.. We will be cleaning more shit in the future.  How much shit do you want to clean?  How elbow deep in it are you willing to get? 

Whenever our mate has a serious problem with anything that requires a 12 step program, realize that this is NOT going to be easy.  I am not saying you should just abandon ship, I am saying you need to realize in no uncertain terms, just exactly what you are up against.  You need to research, fact find, TALK to your mate, and then make an educated decision based on the data you collected. You have to keep the decision process of where this relationship is going, and exactly how YOU fit in, in your head, and not your heart.

Gambling Addiction is a bitch.  It is one of the trickier addictions, because that 'big pay out!' is always looming right there...or so the addict thinks.  The money spent on 'hittin' the big one' could, at the very least..pay the rent!  However, the worse it gets..the WORSE it gets.   Bills, don't get paid and debt piles, bodily injury becomes a real fear.  Now, the addict finds themselves trying to win,  just to cover loss, and everything else isn't even so much of a thought. 

You know your man has a major problem with gambling, do not embark on a life together, until he takes care of his addiction.

 First and foremost, does he KNOW he has a problem?  No way anything is going to change, until the addict knows something has to.  You need to talk to your mate, about the good, the bad and the ugly.  You have to address things that potentially effect YOU.  You aren't being selfish, you aren't being unfeeling, you are being smart.  You must know your position, before you can decide whether or not you should even bother walking down this difficult road.  In the meantime, do not do any 'joint' ventures, do not move in together, and throw out the rose colored glasses of what 'could be' and focus on 'what is'...  Should your mate relinquish this addiction, and stay on the correct path..that will be your eventual 'what is'...and from there you can start to imagine what 'could be'..